cranky
I have to write 800 words on a topic of my choice by today. I am massively braincrippled. I don't know how to start, I don't know why this is so hard - and, worst of all, I don't know why I care so much. I even triple-booked myself tomorrow so I could clear today's schedule and just fucking finish this assignment already - but as usual I'm procrastinating with Grey's Anatomy in the background.
Last night I disillusioned someone. As I was doing it I felt rather bad, but also somewhat ruthlessly educational. It was an interestingly awful self-loathing-laden kind of self-righteousness, a bit like what I like to think villains in superhero movies must feel. I'm so inured to finer feelings that I tend to forget a lot of people still think with their hearts. Oh well. Just call me a mercenary bitch.
I hate it when people are kind, or considerate, or thoughtful, or anything sweet like that. That's always my undoing, when people notice things and buy me stuff or whatever. Everyone should just be nice and disinterested and self-centered, or there's a really big danger I will actually start, like, caring about them, and then everything goes to shit.
Argh.
posted by zyn ::
3:17 PM ::
1 Comments ::
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