slump

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Woken up from a bad dream by a bad phone call = shitty morning. Can't remember the last time a day started so ominously.

Back for less than 48 hours and already I need another holiday. Or at least a lot of caffeine.

Sigh.

posted by zyn :: 10:35 AM :: 1 Comments :: permalink


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photos, part one

Monday, May 29, 2006

You know that feeling you get when you're sitting around chatting with friends and drinking a really good white wine and you think, man, some toasted brie would really hit the spot right now, so you order a plate of cheese and when it comes it tastes exactly like you thought it would, and in that moment you wouldn't care less if it started raining furry blue pigs from the sky because you're transcendently at peace with the world?

Well, my holiday wasn't quite that. :P But it was close. Even though my bank account is now in critical condition, as is my ipod, which met its maker ("are you there, Steve Jobs? It's me, ipod nano") in an unfortunate accident along the Bosphorus. It helps that I'm now brown as a berry! (Never understood that phrase.)

Of the 900-odd photos I took I've randomly selected three - unphotoshopped - to show off the awesome power of my awesome camera.




Athens: Acropolis




Santorini: Perissa black sand beaches




Istanbul: uh... not sure. Blue Mosque, probably.


Still to come - food photos! Sea photos! Faux-arty photos! And photos of Josh (since I can't expose my identity, I might as well expose his. Haha).

posted by zyn :: 5:27 PM :: 3 Comments :: permalink


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dangerous affairs

Friday, May 26, 2006

Grammar aside, this blog is worth a read, if just to marvel at the paradox of bisexuality - how, as it evolves, people are taking it simultaneously more and less seriously. The author of the blog has a boyfriend of a few years, but is starting to find herself attracted to a girl. She seems cognizant enough to acknowledge that the "budding relationship" between herself and the girl is an "underground affair", but I can find no evidence of any guilt or self-blame that would surely be present if she were making out on the sly with another guy - right? Or have I again overestimated other people's grasps of what are (to me) basic concepts like fidelity and monogamy? I somehow get the impression that this "affair" doesn't bug her as much because she's cheating on her boyfriend with, like, whoa, a girl, and so the novelty of the whole "oh man, am I lesbian now? Lesbians also people okay! Anyway gender/sexuality/species shouldn't matter!" is completely outweighing the fact that she's cheating on her boyfriend.

Sigh chip on shoulder, chip on shoulder. Chocolate-covered potato chip. Yummy.

Also, I can't believe Las Vegas Sands won the casino bid! This will make the Sentosa contest really exciting.

Lastly, X3: very awesome. I love a good smashbang blockbuster. And Ben Foster - so. damn. cute. And see if you can spot Frasier! Am totally watching this again (don't worry Dom!).

posted by zyn :: 10:53 PM :: 6 Comments :: permalink


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long holiday post

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Sitting in an Istanbul internet cafe on a bright sunny day with vague Muslim chanting going on in the background, I realise I have finally located my inner Gandhi.

Cities are a lot like guys. Most of them you treat indifferently, some you hate on sight, others you fall in love with inexplicably, and the rest you know you should like but for some reason they don't do anything for you.

Singapore falls into the first category for me; Athens in the second, Istanbul in the third, and Santorini fourth. Athens is awful. For one thing, it's hot. Really, really hot. Which is good if you're lying around on a beach, but not so much if you're walking around ruins. Josh and I spent a whole afternoon first admiring the Acropolis and then pretending to admire it while downing bottles of water and then eventually giving up all pretense at any admiration and just taking as many photos as we could before getting the hell outta there.

Istanbul, on the other hand, feels like home. It's the same feeling I get in Amsterdam and Bangkok, like I could spend days here just ambling around and taking in the city and emerge a better person for it. (Even though Josh and I got cheated twice in rapid succession within the first hour of getting here. Well, we got cheated once at a restaurant and then the taxi driver tried to cheat us but I was so tired and furious by then that we yelled at him until he gave us our money back. I was this close to actually punching the snotty weasel.)

And Santorini may be the most gorgeous place on earth. The whole island looks like it stepped out of a postcard - everything is white and brilliant blue against a backdrop of giant craggy cliffs, and at night the towns are dotted with tiny sparkly lights. It looks like the Smurfs met Tinkerbell and moved to Wuthering Heights to multiply. The beaches are awesome (my nose is sunburnt), the sunset is out of this world, and the place is a major wine producer, for heaven's sake. It should be my dream city - but somehow all it triggers in me is numbness.

Maybe because I watched Da Vinci Code there. How ironic that such a beautiful place played host to the worst movie experience I've had in years (probably since Battlefield Earth - and at least that was horrific enough to attain cult status. DVC is just mediocrely bad, which is the very worst kind of bad ever). Everything that was awful about the book is singled out and magnified in the movie; it's like Ron Howard took a poll of DVC haters' "worst moments" and used that as the outline for his screenplay. The book's only saving grace - its plot, however melodramatic and overcliffhangered - seemed to have been thrown into the movie as an afterthought. The chase is more like a dull plod; the book characters' inspirations and revelations seem to penetrate the movie characters' thick heads by pure accident. And what on earth was Audrey Tautou doing in there? I can't tell if she made the movie worse or the movie was so bad it couldn't make anyone look good.

Okay sorry that was a long diversion. Here's another one: the annoying thing about being on holiday is that all strangers seem to take crap photos. I mean, how hard is it to frame a picture properly? I take all these decent photos for people and when I hand them my camera in return they inevitably crop off the top of the building or my feet or something equally essential. Not being able to take good photos is as inconsiderate as being fat and smelly and taking a 12-hour plane ride.

Have to go before all the shops close! People who want souvenirs, email me quick with what you want and where to get it.

Added: Just a note for the WoWers, who I know are all 60 already *grumble* - Europe WoW is incompatible with US/Asian WoW!!!! I found all these cybercafes that had WoW installed but you can't play on an European server with a US/Asian account!!! That completely ruined my trip man. Maybe I'll cross over to the Asian half of Turkey and see if they have Asian WoW there. Hahaha.

posted by zyn :: 10:45 PM :: 5 Comments :: permalink


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how to work four-letter words into a poem

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

(because what's a holiday without bad poetry?)

when life curves and you can't see straight
there's too much shit to navigate
the last five years were a mistake -
pack up your bags and make a date

when day segues into mindnumbed day
your soul's past dead and in decay
no phrase means less than "i'm okay" -
board the damn plane and fly away

when love means people you can't please
work has you handcuffed on your knees
your fridge is out of wine and cheese
the best intentions count the least -

don't hold your breath and wait for peace
say fuck it all! and go to greece


beaches, bazaars, booze, and the best sunsets in the world - I may not come back.

posted by zyn :: 12:54 AM :: 3 Comments :: permalink


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toys r us

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Lookie my new toy!



Lookie what my new toy can do! It can take pictures of other people's new toys!



I love this penguin.

Shopping for techie things is almost as fun as shopping for bags and shoes. After all, they're accessories too. And like shoes (not so much bags), the moment I buy a techie thing, I regret it. I walked into Parisilk at Holland V on Saturday with every intention of buying the Canon ixus 60, and I was about to pay for it when I saw a whole row of pretty, pretty cameras lined up on the shelf like so many beauty pageant contestants on a catwalk. So I asked the shop assistant guy - Indian, so one presumes he knows his tech stuff (yes I'm racist, so are you) - what other cameras he had in my price range. He whipped out the Fujifilm z2 and took a few quick shots with the hugeass LCD screen. I was immediately sold, and so was the Fujifilm.

Of course once I got home I started thinking, shit, I bought a camera based on the recommendation of someone who owns the shop?? What kind of sucker am I?? (Rhetorical question, thanks.)

Didn't help that the Fujifilm takes really noisy pictures in low light without flash at anything less than its maximum ISO (1600). But then I took it to my cousin's wedding and compared it to my other cousins' cameras (Canon ixus 750, Panasonic lumix) and realised the colours are actually far superior to the other (more expensive) models. Its main feature is the low-light-no-flash thing, and it takes amazingly sharp pictures, despite the noise. Must compromise lah. And the Fujifilm has an internal lens and turns on when you pull the slider back, and I turned off the beeps and trigger click, so it's an awesome spy camera. Doesn't make any noise at all. Heh heh heh.

Anyway all the cameras I've ever had have been Fujifilm, and the picture qualities have been uniformly good, so.

Holidays ah, really expensive. Not only must pay for flight, hotels, ferries, trains, etc; also must buy stupid things like camera and guidebooks. The next time I go on holiday I will choose destination based on which has the cheapest guidebook.

Hectic weekend = cannot hit 60 by tomorrow night, which is when I fly. :( Oh well, I'm sure we can find a cybercafe somewhere that has WoW installed. Fortunately I'm travelling with someone who - legend has it - skips classes to play Warcraft. Heehee.

This time tomorrow I'll be on a plane to Athens. Quick quick quick! Can't wait.

posted by zyn :: 9:02 PM :: 2 Comments :: permalink


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on journalism and journalists

Friday, May 12, 2006

Wah, Cherian George is brilliant!

"Improvements in mainstream media performance have not caught up with the expectations of more critical, questioning Singaporeans... The mainstream media have improved in absolute terms, but this is of little comfort to individual readers and viewers like you, who will naturally judge media performance relative to your own expectations. And expectations have risen. Most of the reasons are obvious - education, etc - but one may be less so and is worth mentioning: the press itself has raised the bar over the years by publishing more intelligent columns and especially letters."


I think very few people will agree with this though, even given Cherian George's credibility as former political editor of ST. Credibility is very, very important. As John Proctor said: "I have given you my soul; leave me my name!" (Ok not that relevant but one of my favourite quotes, haha.)

On another completely unrelated note, my colleagues are siao. Yesterday I rushed off from work because I was an hour late for dinner and I left my laptop behind meaning to retrieve it later. When I got back to the office at midnight there was this note on it:

"Such a hot date that forgot to switch computer off ah? Btw, we have signed in as you and sent a love 'coupon' to your admirer! Hahaha"


Like I said, siao lor.

P.S. If you guys really sent a love coupon, I will kill you dead.

posted by zyn :: 12:36 PM :: 3 Comments :: permalink


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4am - your mind starts to wander

There's been so much political bravery and creativity on the Singapore blogosphere (god I hate that term) lately that despite my innate cynicism I'm impressed and heartened. I'm not linking to anything because I don't have the balls to. So sue me (not to be taken literally). I want to say something about this discussion group known as Young Republic though - a not-very-well-known forum that seems to think it's a big deal. Get off your high horses lah. So atas for what. Everything also must use big words to scold, nothing much to say also scold. Can die.

* * * * * *


My mum is trying - very unsubtly, I might add - to marry me off to Ian. After she met him today she said, "wah Ian very cute!" To which I replied, distractedly, "har really? okay lah I suppose". And she was like, "so...?" I'm like, "so, what??"

Doesn't help that Ian said "hi aunty hi uncle!" very brightly and wants to have dinner with them, the big suckup. (Hahaha.) I finally, exasperatedly, tried to head my mum off with "he's gay lah!" In typical fashion, she responded: "choy, don't so bad lah, anyhow say people". What to do, you tell me.

Ian gems:

"I'd rather be good-looking than smart. Hey, I already am!"

"Your blog ah, damn hard to read you know. I can't even scroll down. You know what I have to do? I have to keep searching for a really common word, like, "in", so the whole text will scroll down, bit by bit. So I just sit there and Ctrl-F "in" just so I can read your blog leh!"

(btw I know this is a problem, will change it when I get back. In the meantime will put temporary template soon.)

* * * * * *


"your place to mine, 10 mins flat" - earned me my first advisory notice of a speeding offence, whatever that is. And today I realised it's because they put a new 40km/h speed sign (40! who does 40?!) where Adam Rd becomes Lornie Rd towards Braddell Rd. Now I take 12 minutes. 15, if I'm really quite, ahem, sleepy.

* * * * * *


Being superficial and shallow and stuff, it's rather comforting to discover that I'm still drawn to intelligence above all else. I love ending conversations knowing that we haven't run out of things to talk about and can just pick the thread up again the next time. Everything else non-cerebral was just an aberration, to be ctrl-zed away. Ctrl-Z Ctrl-Z Ctrl-Z. There. All gone.

posted by zyn :: 4:35 AM :: 11 Comments :: permalink


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back to money

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Need a bit of a break from the "political angst", as someone aptly put it.

So we turn our attention to the perennial problem of how money affects friendships. (Or, in other words, how to avoid being arrested for the homicide of a friend who suggested you split the bill in half after he had a filet mignon and half a bottle of wine and you, a house salad and tap water.) My friends and I now joke about "aiyah, different backgrounds lah", but the truth is, after the first few years of work the playing ground becomes truly uneven.

Especially when you have friends that come from really, really different backgrounds.

I'm not sure if this is particular to me, but I tend to enjoy myself most when I'm with people who have the same attitude towards money as I do. I don't have a lot of it, but I don't have any major financial commitments either, so my disposable income is adequate to support a lifestyle of rather careless everyday spending. I like good food and pretty things (refer to profile on left for evidence), and I like buying people cute little things that catch my eye. Paying for people's meals and other random collective bills comes naturally to me, now more than ever given that I spend most of my time with people who take turns to do the same, so everything kind of evens out in the end.

This means I seldom have the knotty and potentially relationship-destroying problem of splitting a check after asymmetrical consumption. You know - that intensely awkward moment when the bill arrives and everyone reluctantly fumbles for their wallets in slow motion, waiting for the first sucker to extract his credit card, while the waiter stands there stiffly watching yet another friendship disintegrate:

"I have friends who are economists who are comfortable getting down to the last decimal point of who owes what when we go out," Professor Conley said. Yet he feels compelled to keep quiet when he finds himself across the table from a friend who orders three glasses of wine to his tap water, then suggests they split the tab.

"It's probably because I don't want to appear petty," he explained. "I'd be battling pretty strong social norms."


"Social norms" dictate that friends don't discuss money issues because nothing highlights the disparity between standards of living - and therefore reflects the sum of one's life accomplishments - as acutely and embarrassingly as the balance in one's bank account. Adding money to any friendship/relationship equation also brings to life the big scoreboard in the sky - if I paid for this, shouldn't you be forking out for that? For all my readiness to pick up the tab, I've always tried to be a conscientious payer-back-of-loans and it makes me very uncomfortable to have someone pay for me continually, even when I'm in a relationship. I hate to 欠人情.

This is why the problem of money in a friendship (or a relationship) is best solved by making friends (or getting partners) who are at your level of and have your inclination towards disposable spending. So, if you're the kind who keeps detailed accounts (perhaps even CCTV proof) of whose credit card materialised for which bill, then you're better off in the company of people who bring calculators to group dinners.

Or - and better - make friends who are truly, sincerely, instinctively generous.

But if you can't find any of those people, opt for set meals. Or a buffet.

posted by zyn :: 10:40 PM :: 5 Comments :: permalink


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my beloved er zi - listen to him

Damn, I wish I could write like this.

that last table-leg burns low. soon we will have
to decide whether our coats keep us warmer
on our skins or in flames - soon we will have
to draw lots. who knows the temperature
at which flesh burns? write this,
squatting over the ashes of our civilization,
the last history of our frozen time -

posted by zyn :: 1:34 PM :: 0 Comments :: permalink


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backlash

Monday, May 08, 2006

Sober now.

Please, for heaven's sake and mine too, do not (1) mention my name on this blog; (2) refer to my job; (3) link to this blog using my name.

I've trawled through the posts and comments and deleted those that are potentially dangerous in terms of identification. I'm reluctant to take down my recent entries because I think one day I might like to look back on my younger days and laugh at my naivete.

Hopefully not from the inside of a prison cell. I'm hardly Michael Scofield.

Anyway what's up is up (and may have been cached) and perhaps there is such a thing as being over-paranoid.

In any case, will be lying low for the next few months, through circumstance more than anything else. All radical English-educated youths in Singapore, watch your backs and your blogs. There's already been too many murmurs of young opposition-supporters for comfort. The thing is, you don't even have to really be an opposition supporter (I'm not entirely sure I am) - you just have to be expressing some level of dissatisfaction with the current system (most of us are).

Just - be circumspect, I suppose. I won't stop blogging, and I don't suppose anyone else will either.

In other news, I just bought very pretty shoes. With ribbons and flowers and eyelets and all. Yay!

posted by zyn :: 6:41 PM :: 8 Comments :: permalink


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gomez detained, NOT arrested (yet)

For those who, like weili, can't be bothered to subscribe to ST:

Gomez stopped from leaving Singapore, police confirm probe

By T. Rajan


DEFEATED Workers' Party candidate James Gomez was stopped from leaving the country at Changi Airport yesterday and questioned by police for eight hours.

Police confirmed they were investigating Mr Gomez in connection with a complaint they received against him from the Elections Department.

Mr Gomez, who has been at the centre of a controversy with the department over his non-submission of a minority candidate certificate, spoke to reporters at 12.05 this morning at the Police Cantonment Complex where he had been taken.

He said that he was stopped on Sunday afternoon at the airport immigration counter and his passport and boarding pass were taken.

When he asked why, an officer there told him that it concerned an issue of criminal intimidation, but could not elaborate. He was taken to the Cantonment Complex at around 5.05pm to be interviewed for what he was then told was a report made against him by the Elections Department on Saturday.

He could not go into details of the case, nor what he had told the investigators. But he said he would cooperate and had given them a 'full and comprehensive outline of what transpired'.

Mr Gomez was heading back to Sweden to resume work at the Stockholm-based think-tank, Idea International. He said now that his passport has been 'seized and impounded indefinitely' he has asked the police for a letter so he can explain the situation to his employers. He has not been told when he has to report again to the police.

WP chairman Sylvia Lim turned up at the Cantonment Complex at 8.05pm. Emerging three hours later, she said she was called as a witness to give a statement in a case. Investigations were on-going and she did not want to comment further. Nor did she see Mr Gomez while she was there. WP secretary-general Low Thia Khiang was aware of the matter, she said. Ms Lim led the WP's team, which included Mr Gomez, which contested and lost in Aljunied GRC.

Mr Gomez became a focal point of the election campaign after claiming he submitted the form to the department. When a security camera recording showed he did not hand in his form, he owned up. He said he was 'distracted' and apologised.

But PAP leaders said the apology was inadequate. Last week, Deputy Prime Minister Wong Kan Seng issued a statement detailing how Mr Gomez 'stage-managed' the incident to damage the Government and discredit the Elections Department. Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew called Mr Gomez a liar and challenged him and the WP leadership to sue him if that was untrue.

posted by zyn :: 12:20 PM :: 4 Comments :: permalink


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does our govt need upgrading?

Friday, May 05, 2006

Apart from the James Gomez fiasco, the most talked-about issue in this year's elections is HDB upgrading. In almost all the contested wards, upgrading is being held up as either a carrot or a stick (i.e. either a bribe or a threat), depending on how you want to look at it.

With about 86% of the population living in HDB flats, the PAP is hitting voters where it hurts. Lifts on every floor, better lighting, more estate facilities - these daily conveniences serve as immediate and tempting alternatives to the admittedly nebulous concept of democracy and an opposition voice in Parliament.

So how come the PAP can guarantee upgrading while the opposition can't, thereby giving the PAP ample opportunity to point fingers and laugh at the opposition's upgrading promises at every rally? In Potong Pasir, SM Goh is dissecting the town council accounts and staking his reputation as MAS chairman ("If I cannot read accounts, I think it is very troublesome for me and for Singapore") and PAP candidate Sitoh Yih Pin's reputation as a certified public accountant ("If Sitoh is wrong, and Chiam is right, Sitoh's certificate of public accountancy will have to be deregistered") on proving that Potong Pasir's incumbent opposition MP Chiam See Tong cannot afford to upgrade the lifts in every HDB block, as he has promised.

SM Goh is probably right, of course. (Sekali he wrong then Chiam See Tong end up being MAS chairman.) But if the town council funds are insufficient for Chiam to provide upgrading, how is Sitoh going to deliver on his own promise for upgrading?

Two ways - one, through an $80 million upgrading package fund that he last night said Minister for National Development Mah Bow Tan had approved for Potong Pasir should Sitoh win the ward. Apparently the National Development Ministry can arbitrarily (at least, that's how it seems; must qualify before kena sued) decide to give millions of dollars' worth of cash handouts to selected constituencies, during an election period and by announcing it at an election rally as a campaigning tool.

The other way is by Sitoh going through HDB itself. Under the HDB's Lift Upgrading Programme, the government will pay for 75% to 90% of the costs involved in lift upgrading, while the town council and the estate's residents co-pay the balance. Theoretically, any opposition MP should also be able to apply for and enjoy the benefits of this programme - it's a nationwide programme provided by HDB, after all. But at least one PAP MP has said that he is confident of getting approval for this programme if he wins the ward, while his opponent, who can also apply, is less likely to be approved.

What's wrong with this picture?

I've taken to asking cab drivers what they think of the elections. Many say they will vote opposition, but some profess loyalty to the PAP. And whenever they talk about supporting the PAP, they always say the same thing - "Me, I will vote gahmen."

But "gahmen" should not automatically be translated into the PAP. If you were in the US or UK and someone asked you how you were going to cast your vote, and you said "Orh, I vote gahmen lor", you would look damn stupid lah. Civil servants are government slaves - but not instruments of the PAP. Similarly, governmental institutions should simply be that. Since when did they become PAP-linked organisations?

The Ministries, the Housing and Development Board, the Elections Department (which operates under the Prime Minister's Office) - if we can't count on our government to be objective and unbiased, then what's our recourse if ever we want to go against the PAP? (There's nothing wrong with wanting to be anti-PAP; it should not be taken to mean you are anti-Singapore government.) The problem with Singapore is that there is no state-party divide. That is why government funds (government! as in taxpayers' money!) are being deployed towards party election campaigns; and not paltry amounts like a couple of thousand dollars, but $80 freaking million. Think of how many Furla bags that would buy!

The problem of upgrading is one that is easily solved. The PAP is threatening to put opposition-controlled wards in last priority for the upgrading queue, because for some reason if you vote against the PAP, you also offend HDB. But it's not hard to decide, based on objective criteria such as age of estate and condition of lifts/wires/water pipes, the order in which HDB blocks should be upgraded, independently of which party you vote for. Upgrading should be a public service provided by the government, not an election sweet dangled by the PAP.

So, remember - it is not the Singapore government that is holding upgrading back from opposition constituencies. It is not the Singapore government that is hounding James Gomez to death and charging Chee Soon Juan a thousand dollars for every word that comes out of his mouth. It is not the Singapore government that is demanding you vote against the opposition. It is the PAP. And the sooner everyone makes this distinction, the better.


* * * * * *



On a lighter note, what do James Gomez and Tom Cruise have in common?

-- They've both starred in three movies with the same title: Mission Impossible, Risky Business, and Minority Report.




posted by zyn :: 12:07 PM :: 7 Comments :: permalink


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