the preposterously long ice cream essay
I'm going through an ice cream phase right now, which is very not timely because I'm putting on weight like siao. My BMI has shot up from 15.1 to 15.8 in a month, which may not seem like much, but which my calculator tells me is, like, five whole per cent.
(In many ways my fixation on not gaining weight is like c7676's obsession with not losing weight - unnecessary but incontrovertible. I should try to be more understanding.)
Anyway so ice cream. I don't like to think of myself as an atas person, because I eat hawker food and wear slippers and sometimes sit very chor lor, but I'm completely spoiled when it comes to ice cream. I can't stomach the Walls or Kings or Magnolia stuff, and I only eat Paddle Pop out of misdirected nostalgia. Which is the same lousy reason I eat ice cream bread sandwiches from those pushcarts in Orchard Road. Man, those are vile.
Anyway so ice cream. When I was in college, paddychicken and I had a pact to put on as much weight as quickly as we could, so we would plant ourselves at the freezer section of Freshgrocer (ah, Freshgrocer) and meticulously examine each flavour of ice cream to see which had the most fat content. (Yeah we were losers but we were skinny losers, so there.) Godiva took the honours, if I recall correctly, which led to me spending many an idle hour dementedly attacking pint after pint of Belgian Chocolate (ah, Belgian Chocolate) while chain-watching Will & Grace (ah, Will & Grace). It's a wonder I got fat only in Harvard rather than during those cushy calorie-filled winters in Penn, although at that time I was going to the gym like three times a week too. I was crazy. Life was good.
ANYWAY so ice cream. In Boston I was obsessed with Haagen Dazs mint chocolate chip, and between that and the Godiva and the Ben and Jerry's outings I had in my senior year at Penn, I was totally ruined for cheapo Singaporean ice cream for life. Some of my best recent memories involve the new Haagen Dazs melon flavour at D's house, which has an endless supply of melon ice cream and chilled bowls to go along with it. Chilled bowls, I tell you. Melon and chilled bowls and wine and a big soft penguin - what more can a girl ask for?
ANYWAY SO ICE CREAM. I hold milky ice cream in contempt, and don't give me any of that sorbet/frozen yogurt/no fat shit. I also hate those with chunks of hard stuff in them, like candy and chocolate pieces and cookie bits and especially nuts. I hate nuts, they exist only to annoy me by getting stuck in my braces. (That and to make squirrels look extraterrestially adorable.) So most Ben and Jerry's stuff is out of the question for me, although Oatmeal Cookie Chunk is inspired and Phish Food is creative genius and both deserve honorable ice cream mentions for addictive superiority. Godiva's Belgian Chocolate holds a special place in my heart and I cannot pass a gelato stand without spending four bucks on one bloody scoop of hazelnut (four bucks. one scoop. i ask you.) - but the best ice cream award has to go to Haagen Dazs. There's mint chocolate chip, and there's melon, and there's green tea, and I've never tried any of the other flavours because I've never had to.
All I have in my freezer right now is B&J's New York Super Fudge Chunk, which I don't really like but am trying to finish because my dad went out to buy it specially for me after I dramatically swooned in the dining room yesterday upon realising that there was no more ice cream left in the freezer.
I am such a brat. But I didn't ask him to go, he went secretly when my back was turned. I am still a brat.
Who loves ice cream.
The end.
posted by zyn ::
1:21 AM ::
8 Comments ::
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