treadmill torments
When my gym membership at Fitness First expired a few months ago, I decided to save money and downgrade to California Fitness, for about a third of the price I was paying at FF.
Now I am being punished for being cheapskate.
And perhaps also for my eyesight. Last week I was regaling A. and I. (haha AI, how apt) with tales of middle-aged monsters in the locker rooms with flab oozing out from under their flesh-coloured bras. This week it's gotten a bit worse - the flesh-coloured bras have been matched with flesh-coloured panties of the high-waisted variety, which are slowly but surely turning me blind.
I thought that was bad, but then yesterday morning I saw some of these unnaturally immodest monsters walking around - yes, you've guessed it - topless, jiggling in all the wrong places. At that point I snatched up my locker key and stabbed my eyes out.
My friend K likes the aunties at his gym. He thinks it's cute how they all dress up in their matching lycra and spandex outfits with a hairband and huff and puff on the step machines. But that's because he's never had to see them in the locker rooms.
I., of course, countered with: "Eh the male changing rooms are worse okay. At least you don't have to deal with sssssemen (said sibilantly and gleefully) on the women's floors."
I couldn't stab my mental eye out, so I settled for positioning myself in front of a big truck rumbling up the road.
The solution, I have decided, is to take up more outdoor sports. Anything will do, as long as it doesn't involve flesh coloured garments of any sort. Help.
posted by zyn ::
12:13 PM ::
3 Comments ::
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