It's one of those days where there's been plenty to do and plenty to see and you've done everything and seen everything and yet you come away from it feeling empty at the end.
It's not work, it's not the company, it's not even PMS. It just comes from having nothing to look forward to. Tuesday, so no WoW. Finished watching all my House and (for desperate situations only) Grey's Anatomy. Really don't feel like studying Japanese for test this Friday. No books. No comics. Not hungry, so that's not the reason. Not really sleepy either. Feeling a bit fat, but nothing a good pair of black pants can't hide. Just rebonded my hair, so it's not the frizziness. Not fighting with anyone at the moment. Not really irritated also, except at the usual suspects.
It's a restlessness, maybe. A sense of lack of accomplishment. Lack of distractions. Means I have to face the hard questions, like, what is the damn meaning of life anyway? I hate hard questions.
It's a good night for a drink. But not wine (too hoity) or beer (too earthy) or vodka (too crass). A melon Midori, with sprite. Like at Terry's house that one night where we watched a camp Taiwanese movie and played with his dogs and just said things without really talking. I feel a bit like that. Or at Yen's spartan shophouse with chwee kueh and bottled beer, sitting on the floor because there was no furniture. Something that fits the slightly angsty, self-conscious poseurish sort of mood.
It's a feeling that drifts by once in a while, that makes you appreciate the rest of your life that's driven and goal-oriented and absorbing and delicious. But it's good to savour, also, this slightly sad listnessless.
It's almost gone now. I can feel it lifting, amid my random conversations with random friends about pink calculators and failed social experiments. I laughed out loud, once, and that broke it.
Oh well. Think it's time to sleep.
posted by zyn ::
12:34 AM ::
4 Comments ::
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