how to be nice

Monday, November 12, 2007

"I've been doing a fair bit of reading of late of vaguely philosophical, spiritual stuff from a range of writers. And the underlying thread that jumps out at me is the fact that, well, nothing really matters.

...

Amazingly, this realisation does not make me want to crawl up my own arse or into a cave or whatever and stop living life as I know it. Because the world will continue to go on around us and I hear caves are smelly. What does seem clearer is that there is little or no need to fret, stress, worry, anguish or feel angsty in any way as we go about our daily business because NOTHING really matters.

We should do things that make us and the other lifeforms around us that we care about happy. A kind word, nice gesture, hard work, smile, whatever makes it better... because it makes us feel better and happier as we wind our way through this current existence. And if we can help more people understand this, maybe there will be nicer vibes and less shit in the world as a whole. Which would make me happier. So that's what this post is about."



I always make snarky comments about N (now more out of habit than anything else, don't take it personally). But the truth is, some of his epiphanies have sparked off my own. In fact, I read this on Friday and I thought, har, must be quarter-life crisis. But the words kept sidling up to my brain throughout the weekend, and now they've taken it out for drinks and brought it home to their apartment.

This is the epiphany I would like to have; the way I would like to lead my life. I want to feel that conviction that nothing really matters, and let that spur me on to be a nicer person. But it's a struggle, because, well, I'm really not that nice a person, whereas I think under the whole queen-bitchiness N actually is.

To be perfectly honest, I've always been a little afraid of being nice because I'm terrified it will make me a boring person. If you don't see the flip side of things and you don't bitch about human nature, that's a good 70% of interesting conversation eviscerated. But this is a stupid reason not to be nice to people, and - more importantly - nice about people.

So this shall be my new undertaking. I will stop myself from saying spiteful things. I can't help the thoughts, for now, but I'm banking on the fact that lack of expression will frustrate them and they will find another outlet (hopefully not pimples). I think you can be bitchy without being spiteful, and I will try to find the fine line that separates the two.

Basically, I'm trying to be a better person, something I've never really felt I had to do. But then again I've never thought of myself as a bitter person until now. I have to stop it eating away at everything - before it's all gone and there's no point even trying anymore.

 posted by zyn :: 12:43 AM :: 4 Comments :: permalink


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