nonsense conversations make the world go round
Over dinner today (at Bangkok Jam, possibly the worst Thai restaurant in the history of the world):
My brother: By the way, we bought applesauce.
Me: Why? What does one eat applesauce with?
My brother: Lots of things. But don't ask Mum, cos she'll just say yogurt.
Me: (to my mum, who is completely oblivious) Mum, what do you eat applesauce with?
My mum: Yogurt! (*sniggering from me and my brother*) Martha Stewart always keeps yogurt and applesauce in her fridge in case she has unexpected overnight guests, then she can serve them that with muesli for breakfast.
Me: Yeah, well, she was in jail and all, I don't know if we want to trust her judgment.
My brother: Yeah, after jail, anything looks like good breakfast food.
...Anyway, I'm sure she got some home decorating ideas from prison too.
Me: You mean, like black and white vertical stripes?
My brother: Hmm. What goes with grey?
Me: Orange!
posted by zyn ::
11:23 PM ::
0 Comments ::
permalink
--------------------------------------------------------::--------------------------------------------------------
i'z in moscow
slumminz it at holiday innz
... where there is no terry cloth bathrobe, no emblazoned set of toiletries, no bottled mineral water, and - worst of all - no soundproofing.
I can hear every single word the Russians next door are saying. Now if only I spoke Russian, I could blackmail them.
Moscow is amazing. Glamourous, late-partying, high-rollin' - indeed, dead trendy, as my boss would say. I am very impressed.
Of course this means I will write the most critical article possible.
Russian vodka is deadly. I disclaim liability for anything I might have done in the last two hours.
posted by zyn ::
2:41 AM ::
2 Comments ::
permalink
--------------------------------------------------------::--------------------------------------------------------
man/woman? does it matter?
This letter appeared in the ST Forum yesterday.
Please don't mistake her for a man
LAST weekend I was shouted at by a woman in the toilet at Parkway Parade. Then she went outside and told someone that there was a man inside. Later, it dawned on me that she thought I was a man dressed in female attire.
Having gone through menopause, I may look manly. Also, after my thyroid operation my voice became hoarse at times and I had to speak in a low tone.
I have been receiving disgusted stares and despising looks unless I go out with my daughter and granddaughter.
Clarifying that I am a woman each time makes me feel miserable and undignified. Is this fair?
Three things jumped out at me: One, the tenses, argh. Two, this is really the kind of story that needs a picture. Three - why on earth would someone write a letter to the national newspaper complaining that people think she's a tranny?
Sorry, there should be a Four: why the hell did we publish this??
(All was vindicated today when Shin Min and Wanbao did follow-up interviews with this (wo)man. I can't read Chinese, so unfortunately what transpired is still a mystery to me.)
But going back to the main point: what motivation could possibly be behind this letter? Is the writer trying to say that Singaporeans are incognizant of the differences between men and women? (But then she admits that she could resemble a man, at least superficially.) Is she pointing out her insecurities after menopause and her thyroid operation and hoping for feminine validation, maybe even a date? (Notice no men in her life.)
Or - and this is my preferred theory - is this all just a badly-masked plea for more tolerance of differences in the society? Could the writer be attempting to advocate acceptance of alternatives? (Whoa check out the assonance.) First comes kindness to trannys - what next? Gay marriage?
Okay I went to check out Wanbao and there's a photo of her, but only of her back. Still, she looks quite auntie. I don't see why anyone would think she's a guy.
Which brings me to the worst theory of all - is all this just a joke, to see if she could get ST Forum to publish her letter? If so, then we suck!
posted by zyn ::
6:34 PM ::
0 Comments ::
permalink
--------------------------------------------------------::--------------------------------------------------------
harry potter and the slight diversion
Is anyone sick of the Harry Potter posts yet?
If so, here is the one thing (besides work) that has managed to take my mind off Book 7 in the last 12 hours: An eBay auction of a blended iPhone. There are 52 bids for the remains of the blended iPhone. The highest is US$1,126.
What is wrong with these people??
Although I must say watching an iPhone get blended is strangely fascinating.
* * * * * *
N: (peering over my shoulder as I blog) Don't write anything rude about me, please.
Me: Don't flatter yourself, please.
posted by zyn ::
7:55 PM ::
4 Comments ::
permalink
--------------------------------------------------------::--------------------------------------------------------
harry potter and the last chapter
So the pages have apparently been leaked (whether they're real or not depends on who you believe), and I've just read what appears to be the epilogue of the book.
It's very convincing. If that's the real last chapter, I will be happy.
But the rest of the chapters - or, at least, page 1 to 495, which were leaked as .jpg scans of each separate page - have been taken down from all the bittorrent sites. Anyone has links?
posted by zyn ::
3:48 PM ::
4 Comments ::
permalink
--------------------------------------------------------::--------------------------------------------------------
harry potter and the spoiler strategy
I have verified that aforementioned Harry Potter "leak" is a fake. Phew.
My thoughts now turn to the problem that has been greatly perturbing me: how, exactly, can I nip into a bookstore at 7.01am on July 21, buy Deathly Hallows, and nip out again WITHOUT inadvertently hearing someone yell out "Harry dies!" before I get out of there?
There are a few ways to get around this:
1. Get up at 4am (or just go straight from Friday night party) and be the first in line for the book.
But even this does not guarantee that the guy who is SECOND in line won't flip to the back of the book and yell out "Harry dies!" before I manage to sprint out of the store. This means I should:
2. Be the first in line and once I get my grubby hands on the book, FLIP TO THE END MYSELF so even if someone yells out "Harry dies!" I can yell back "HA! I already knew! AND Snape is a bad guy!"
Except this will totally spoil the whole book reading experience for me. An experience that not only comes around once every three years, but will never ever occur again. So this leaves me with:
3. Get ear plugs. The foamy wax kind particularly effective with snoring partners. Alternatively, bring iPod and turn up to max volume.
For this strategy to work, I will also have to:
3a. Turn off my computer and Internet by 6.59am Saturday morning. To be safe, I think Friday midnight.
3b. Turn off my phone and block the numbers of the A&A pair.
3c. Soundproof my room just in case my sister gets a spoiler from her friend and yells out "Harry dies??!"
All this, however, means that if some major emergency is happening somewhere, I will only know of it once I finish page 784.
But then, armed with the knowledge of how to defeat Voldemort, I will be equal to any emergency.
posted by zyn ::
2:23 AM ::
10 Comments ::
permalink
--------------------------------------------------------::--------------------------------------------------------
harry potter and the big leak
I have a supposedly leaked copy of the 7th Harry Potter book, courtesy of PY. I don't know if it's real; it's not really JKR's style. But it's 693 pages and fairly in-depth, so if it's a prank it's a very very meticulous one. It has all the right stuff too - the characters who die, Dumbledore not coming back to life, the last chapter that shows everyone's future.
But I really really hope it's not real, because it's a huge disappointment in the way it's written. Not that it's ungrammatical or whatever, just - untalented.
If anyone's interested I can forward it and we can discuss. In the meantime off I go to msg Azrin the ending. Ahahaha.
posted by zyn ::
6:56 PM ::
3 Comments ::
permalink
--------------------------------------------------------::--------------------------------------------------------
ok ok i'm doing work
C.bank has sent over free Harry Potter tix for this Saturday and they came in an envelope with my name in special Harry Potter font!! I will put it in my secret drawer for magical keepsakes, together with my invisible unicorn horn.
La la la. Bought new shoes today. La la la.
posted by zyn ::
3:39 PM ::
0 Comments ::
permalink
--------------------------------------------------------::--------------------------------------------------------
I cost $245 a day
I have a bond. Today I am one-third through it. As of now, I am worth about $357,997 to my company over the next four years.
This time last year I was really having fun at work. Everything was exciting, everyone was scintillating, every night I stayed late.
Now - well, now things have changed. Or maybe the problem is that they haven't, and I have. It feels like I've been doing the same thing forever; the challenges are becoming less numerous and less appealing. This is the year most of my unindentured peers are hopping around, and I itch to do the same. It's worse than boredom, it's restlessness. I wonder if other people feel it too.
And as work-related stuff slips off my to-do list, more interesting stuff clambers on. Top of the list right now is the Buddha Tooth Relic Temple, in which for some reason nobody I know is interested. Come on! It's Buddha's tooth relic!!
K: I thought Buddha was bogay?
Me: ...that's cos his dentist pulled out all his teeth and sold them to temples.
K: How dumb is that. He should've just stuck em under his pillow.
Me: That wouldn't work, I think the tooth fairy is Christian.
I want to go home.
posted by zyn ::
7:05 PM ::
6 Comments ::
permalink
--------------------------------------------------------::--------------------------------------------------------
Bob Loblaw's law blog
My mother has gone crazy and Bob Loblaw's law blog is the only thing that can take my mind off it.
As anyone with a crazy mother knows, there is really no cure to a crazy mother. You can't rationalise. You can't argue. You can't win. The only thing you can do, then, is to beat a hasty retreat to a magical space where crazy mothers don't exist.
I have decided that if I turn into a crazy mother, I will kill myself. The only way to prevent this is to move out of my house, preferably within the next two years. My personal prediction is that residential property rents - maybe prices - will take a breather in 2009 (you heard it here first). At that time I will have to move out, or risk suicide. Ideally, I will find someone I can move in with and share rent, chores, and (really ideally) fairytale love. Actually, in my real ideal world, I will have a place of my own that I can decorate and gadgetise. But I'll settle for rent and chores.
If property rents don't fall by 2009, I will have to make a lot more money than I'm doing now in order to move out. This means I will have to quit my job, a prospect that's becoming more appealing by the day.
Or maybe I'll just sleep on it and see how much of this still makes sense tomorrow morning when all the red wine has worn off.
posted by zyn ::
3:13 AM ::
3 Comments ::
permalink
--------------------------------------------------------::--------------------------------------------------------
easily pleased
Philip buy me Knut. Yay!
Wanted to put snuggly Knut picture but Philip camera run out of battery. Boo.
Free tickets to watch Harry Potter in two weeks. Yay!
posted by zyn ::
2:57 AM ::
0 Comments ::
permalink
--------------------------------------------------------::--------------------------------------------------------
load of crap weekend
Weekends should come with a money-back guarantee. Mine was complete crap and a total waste of time. I want to take it back and redo.
The only redeeming grace was Transformers - and a very good collagen-infused ramen lunch, which I enjoyed tremendously. EVERYONE MUST GO WATCH TRANSFORMERS! Robot can do AOE! Also, I swear Optimus Prime was wielding Thunderfury at one point.
I have absolutely no motivation to go into work tomorrow.
posted by zyn ::
12:20 AM ::
6 Comments ::
permalink
--------------------------------------------------------::--------------------------------------------------------
